The pursuit of beatitude

Monday, November 10, 2008

Somewhere I belong?

This is the 3rd time I'm going to change my flat in less than a year. It's too much, even by my standards. I'm a self-confessed wanderer, and I just can't be rooted to a single house/city for an entire lifetime. I'm not even a homebird for that matter. But the way I'm running away from all the new people and places is scaring me. There must be something wrong with me, right? Well, there is, and I know what it is, and also that it can't be helped. It IS difficult to put up with some random 2-3 more women for long, especially when we're talking about TWO-THREE RANDOM WOMEN, but I can't keep running away for the rest of my life now, can I? It's just that, I don't feel like I belong somewhere even after spending a considerable period of time at one single place. Classic example is my parents' home(note: it's my parents' home, not mine). I fought with my dad to let go of me some 8 years back, because 16 years at one place.. that was more than I could ever think of! I like living in new cities, big cities. I have no phobia of unknown destinations, nor do I get attached to one single place. In fact, my record tells me that I've stayed at a single lodging only for one year max at a stretch in the past 8 years. With the exception of my college hostel, where I was for 4 continuos years, with the same roomies, in the same room. Now when I think about it, I can't believe this fact.
I have already made plans of moving out of my new would-be flat by next April or so. Where am I going after that, I know not, but I know that I'm footloose and no room can hold me for more than a few months anymore. Will I ever settle down and call a house, my home? Will I ever belong?

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