Funny, really..

It's funny how much I can want to hold on to a pain, that given the choice,most others wouldn't even contemplate deliberating enduring for a minute longer. I want to feel that pain, not just to break the monotony of my sad little life, but also to remind myself for as long as I can, that humans are not divine. That they should not be raised to the status of Gods,and not be believed and trusted in with all your heart. For, in doing so, you only endanger yourself getting seriously hurt and embittered.
It's funny how I end up giving more importance to people and things that never were, and never will be, real. Virtuality has almost completely and very credibly replaced the reality around me. So much so that, every little thing that existed in my virtual world, even if ages ago, continues to pain me even now; while the cruelties of everyday real life, well, I can forget in an instant.
It's funny how I convince myself everyday that the past is to be forgotten and forgiven, but still I make sure there is atleast one single thread attached to my past; just so I can take myself back whenever I want.
It's funny how I laugh and cry at the same time. How I put up that winsome smile everytime my heart starts to bleed, how I join some crowd when my need to be alone gets overwhelming, and how I crave loneliness when with people, but search franctically for someone when all alone.
It's funny how I've become another face in the crowd, in my quest of achieving that ultimate recongnition. The more I try and create my mark, the more obscure my existence becomes.
It's funny how I had nothing to write about tonight when I started, but now I can't stop typing.
Funny, really..